Romans 12:15

I was very excited to start this blog. I got into project mode. You know, when you have something on your mind and you can't concentrate on anything else? So I diligently looked up how to fancy up my blog and prepare this space for writing. Yet, once it was finished, I kept coming back, thinking, "It is time to fill this space with words now." But my heart was blank. I just kept looking at the blank, open space and nothing. Nothing came to mind. Well, maybe that's not true. A whole flood of things are always on my mind. But nothing coherent.

The most logical thing for me to write about would be my loss. The loss of my little one, Aaron. The memories still so fresh in my mind. The images rushing through my brain in every moment of the day---when I'm putting his big brother down for nap; when I am changing the laundry; when I am driving around town; when I am at the park, seeing pregnant bellies and little ones all around. I do not resent these babies. I do not resent these mothers.
I used to.

I have a close friend who got pregnant a couple months after me. If you have ever experienced the loss of your baby, you would know how hard it is to watch your friend carry her baby full-term. I didn't want to see her 40+ week belly. And then I didn't want to see a healthy newborn, cooing and soft. I didn't want to be reminded constantly that she has a baby and I do not. But, God is amazing, people. My friend is amazing. Jesus and she kept pursuing me. It is such an awesome example of rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn. My friend, she mourned with me. She cooked our family meals. She came to the funeral. She watched Ben for us, when we were in the hospital. She kept up with me after the loss of Aaron and invited us out. She is just an amazing friend and I am so thankful for her. The point is, she was there for me. So I was there for her. I organized her meal train for her new baby. I cooked her and her family supper. I bought super, adorable little girl baby clothes. I went to the park with her and her littles. And most of all, I held her little baby girl, and rejoiced with my friend and her husband for their amazing joy. And their joy became my joy.
Besides, that baby girl is so gosh darn cute.

Romans 12:15 (NIV) "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."