One

One year. 

Dear my Aaron, my strong mountain:

Tomorrow is your first birthday. I'm not quite sure how to celebrate it. But I do know that I miss you every minute. I wake up and you are on my mind. I try to close my eyes to sleep at night but can't for you are on my heart, the memories so fresh in my mind. 

Oh baby, Mommy misses you so much.

The truth is, I am a selfish mama. I really want to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. I want you in my arms. 

I will never get over you, my darling, for our hearts are forever weaved together.

Mommy is so, so sorry that your lungs were too sick, baby. If I could've breathed into them for you, I would have. 

Mommy is so, so sorry that she couldn't hold you until your last day in this world. If I could've wrapped you up so close to my heart and held you from the moment you came into this world, I would have. 

Aaron James, dance with Jesus. Be cradled and rocked and kissed. Breathe deep the breath of Him. Be held by Him. And know little one, that the same arms that are holding you, are holding your Mama too. 

You are and forever will be loved.  
I love you baby boy.
Love, Mommy

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Thank you for being there for us. Thank you for remembering. Thank you for holding up our arms.

Grace and peace.